“ONE LOVE – TWO LIVES” – A FILM ABOUT GROWING UP PAIN

Courtesy of Barisea Bazili

While watching the trailers of the film “One Love – Two Lives”, and trying to guess what to expect, I had the impression, that would be a film about “The Moment” of life; about the key decision that turns one’s destiny upside down. The Greek original was just about this. And in their interviews after the premiere Engin and Berguzar also repeated it, “It is a film about the importance of life decisions”.

I was completely surprised after seeing the whole film! As well as, fascinated. Turk writers Burcu Toptaş and Özlem Yılmaz have turned this generally romantic melodrama into a philosophical romance with a very deep message. My respect!

A film about maturing

Both Umut and both Deniz in the film represent the maturing process of two people in two different ways, at different cost. Deniz is more matured than Umut at the beginning, and her process is less dramatic and painful than his. Neither of both stories is “good” or “bad”; neither of the endings is “happy” or “unhappy”.

Both heroes were highly traumatized in the past – Deniz has lost her parents as a teenager, and Umut’s father has abandoned him and his mother. She loses her mind little by little, and slowly sinks before his eyes. That makes of Umut a distrustful egocentric, inclined to run away from any kind of a relationship, encapsulated in his own comfort world. He rejects to grow up emotionally. He is driven by bitterness, and avenges his father through all who are close to him. Umut must grow mature, and must pay for that.

The two Umuts draw up two possible paths to maturity, and neither of them is easy. Umut has to lose something precious, to experience pain.

Umut Pink and Umut Blue

The destinies of two Umuts part from each other at the moment he decides if to walk the dog or not. I called them Umut Pink and Umut Blue because the story of Umut without Deniz is always told in a slightly blue screen (a very clever director’s solution, by the way!), and Umut with Deniz is very often dressed in pink or red. I could have called them Long-haired Umut and Short-haired Umut. But I liked “pink” and “blue” better. J

At the beginning, their destinies are thrown away in opposite directions. Umut Blue slides down headlong – he is beaten up, they take away all his paintings, his film is disapproved, he loses his hair, and his dog at the end. Things go better with Umut Pink – he loses just a part of his paintings, the accident with the dog turns up for good, and the most important of all – he meets Deniz, light bursts in his life.

The logical conclusion would be, Umut Pink will be happy, and Umut Blue will be not. The problem is that both Umut are the same person – a non-grown-up man with a soul full of bitterness, and external circumstances can not compensate this. Both will walk their thorny path to maturity and manhood. And here is hidden the great message of the film, Happiness is inside us. Let us not be deceived that if we take this or that; if we succeed in this or in that; if we reach this goal or the other one, we will be happy. No, we will be happy if we fight down the demons in our own souls. No matter external circumstances.

Engin as Umut

Umut is the serial peak of Engin. He conveys the drama of both his characters incredibly convincing. Each of them is developed in details and nuances as a unique person. Blinking, smiles, intonations, everything of two Umuts is different. Even if the colour shade of the screen would not change, the viewer would immediately recognize which Umut is watching at the moment.

I have dreamed to watch Engin in a “double” role for a long time, to see him developing two characters simultaneously. A real delight for all my senses! I am short of superlatives to describe what I feel while watching him! Umut is very similar to commissar Omer in face but has absolutely nothing to do with him! It is impossible both characters not to be recognized. One of them is a police officer, and the other one is a film director, after all. Engin also knows this perfectly well because his characters are a police officer and a film director, and not Engin pretending to be a police officer, or a film director.

Haircut

Umut Blue’s haircut is the turning point of his development. He has hit the emotional bottom, and now he must either remain there and drown, or thrust up and emerge. Umut marks this moment with a self-punishment ritual, with a fresh-page-opening ceremony. His short haircut merges him with the crowd, deprives him of his specific beauty that stands him out. Umut gives up his uniqueness; his bitter experiences (beating up, rejected film) remind him in the most painful way that he is not as great as he has thought. This is the first small step to maturity demonstrated by the ritual haircut, “I am a common man”.

The scene is accompanied by the scrapping sound of the hair clipper, and of Umut’s internal monologue about the decisions. He has already figured out (or at least, has started figuring out) that everyone is responsible for their own destiny. Yes, there are things in life that you can’t choose but those things that make you who you are, you definitely choose by yourself. Taking responsibility – this is the first sign of maturity.

Umut Pink has not taken this first step yet. He has not lost anything, has not paid any cost. Oscar is saved, a new pleasant thrill has just entered his life. Yes, his film is rejected but he receives the news at a moment when he drinks tea on the terrace with beautiful Deniz. Pain is mercifully accompanied by a pain-killer.

His immaturity is proved by the way he feels about his film collection and

cine-machine – his beloved toys that he is not inclined to give anyone but prefers to enjoy them by himself. Moreover, he gains additional delight by seeing other people’s admiration and envy. When the film they watch together with Deniz is over, he gives her a sly and careful look, judging his possible luck with her. At this moment she is nothing but a pretty applicant for his bed. When he insults her, he does nothing to retouch his mistake. He hasn’t realized how important she is for him yet. He needs a whole day in the director’s chair to grasp the idea that he doesn’t want her to leave his life.

Although he puts efforts and director’s talent in the glamourous excuse, despite his persistence and kindness, Umut Pink is not mature yet, not at all! His remarkable words are, “You got me wrong last night”, and not “I said wrong words”. Umut still tries to run away from responsibility, still is not ready to pay for his mistakes. Nevertheless, Deniz can’t resist his charm.

Relationship

The start of the relationship between Umut Pink and Deniz is drunk-head. Both are intoxicated not only by the shots but also by the chemistry explosion between them. Everything is so natural, so tender and real that the romantic viewers believe from the bottom of their hearts that all problems are behind.

Their first meeting is a shock because of the accident but their first night comes very soon after that – natural and happy. Everything is a wonderful cliché, golden butterflies in rose vapor, Hollywood matrix. Love curve is headed up in a direct flight. If the film would end here, nobody would be upset.

The first meeting of Umut Blue with Deniz is in the cinema. The fate seriously means that – these two just MUST meet each other. Over. The blue version is not a direct flight in the sunshine but torturous, faltering and multi-biased. Anyway, Deniz, whispering on the phone with her sweetheart in the cinema, attracts the dark look of short-haired Umut. He sees her for the second time at the night when he meets Sema the Hunter. Walking to the bar, he sees Deniz, and can’t help it but give her a second look. That’s all. Deniz disappears from Umut Blue’s life, and will turn up again near the very end as a lodger-to-be.

Love story of Umut Pink and Deniz keeps following the Hollywood cliché. Despite the great love night, there is no real love between them. The dominating factor is the urge. Umut is panic stricken of relating to someone, and is afraid to sleep in one bed with the woman he has just made love with. He is afraid of attaching – she could attach him or, God forbid, he could attach her! Yeah… it was great but… everyone must know the place they belong. That hurts her cruelly. This time he doesn’t need much time for consideration. A dropped purse is a convenient excuse for an immediate repair.

I would like to make a small parenthesis about the love scene. While watching the Greek original, I wondered how the Turks would shoot this scene. It was openly erotic, at the edge of the good taste. I expected, the Turks would approach it differently, and proved be right. I want to put it straight, the Turkish version is MUCH MORE sensual! Although not that nude. Turks proved to be great in that once again. Probably, the long years of censorship have turned them into virtuoso of showing without showing. The love night of Umut Pink and Deniz is a small pearl in the ocean of love scenes overall.

Umut Pink desperately longs to attach, to love and be loved, actually. But the wound that his father inflicted to his mother is still open. He has seen with his own eyes how devastated is an abandoned person, and fear overcomes love. In one of his monologues Umut Blue admits his greatest fear – the fear of abandoning. And Mr. Pink hasn’t done this yet, his escape from the common bed is an evidence.

By the way, showing Umut Pink and Umut Blue in the same night is in purpose – Mr. Pink leaves the bed of love, and goes to sleep alone, and Mr. Bluesleeps alone anyway. The two men have completely different destinies till now but are in the same state of mind. What does it mean? Happiness is an inner state of mind, and does not depend on external factors.

Love triangle

The character of the night bird Sema is very carefully used as a catalyst and a litmus of Umut’s maturing in the same time. She plays a key role in both stories. In the blue story she doesn’t cause any harm, just dissatisfaction and abomination, and Umut leaves her easily. In the pink story wounds are enormous, both for Umut and Deniz.

Umut Blue starts his relationship with Sema because of boredom and purely sexual interest. Umut Pink does it because he’s despaired and wants to heal his self-confidence. Mr. Blue pours his hatred over her, and Mr. Pink uses her as a therapy.

I would like to pay a special attention to the fifteen-second-scene in the rest-room of the bar. I put the effort to remember the name of the actress who plays Sema – MerveDizdar. She is completely unknown to me, I see her for the first time. She did a great job with her character, and I’m sure she won the hatred of a few million women. Merve is the first actress after ŞukranOvalı (BaharAçar from BBO) who plays a passion scene with Engin. How’s possible not to envy her? And Engin proved once again that he is equally brilliant in tender, and in wild love. Heavy rock music in the background supercharges the atmosphere with electricity. It literally rains testosterone from the screen! I perfectly understand why the film was put under age limit in Turkey.

The relationship of Umut Pink and Sema is not exposed at all, the viewer learns about it post factum. But if we track the narrative carefully, it has started after the auction, the bottom moment of Umut Pink. He hits the bottom relatively late in comparison to Mr. Blue. Mr, Blue’s bottom moment is much earlier thank to the beating, and he starts emerging up also earlier. Thank to Deniz’ love, Mr. Pink’s fall down is lighter and more painful in the same time. His push up comes later, and is less successful. At this moment he has lost his job, his money, his collection (because of the “chains” Deniz and Derin), and it is the first price he pays for his maturing, the first thing he has to part with. In the night before selling his films, he watches them for the last time, and cries. The lines of the film heroes perfectly fit him, “We are alive, we are together, and we love each other. Don’t worry”. He desperately wants this to come true in his life, too! Deniz understands him, and comforts him without saying anything. Saying goodbye to his beloved collection tears off a part of himself, he feels an awful pain. And he needs a pain-killer. The wicked look of Sema after she wins the auction, gives us a hint where it will come from.

The film doesn’t show when exactly starts their relationship but when Umut is in the park with the family, Deniz announces that she’s going back to work, and this is the last strike over his self-confidence as a man. Deniz “moves the border”, deprives him of his function of a “main source of care”, and shows him that she is perfectly capable to manage without him. He feels needless, an outsider and a loser. In such a situation a man desperately needs something to give back his strength. The humiliating scene at the market when his ex-subordinates laugh at him, and he looks like a man under his wife’s thumb, just confirm viewers’ conviction that Umut wouldn’t be able to stand all these for a long time, and something would happen at last.

In the next scene in the park when Derin plays among the flying doves, Umut Pink already checks his messages. From Sema. The poisonous contact is at hand. Even just once. The wedding ring is at her place.

When Deniz and Umut Pink are at Derin’s bed at the hospital, he gives a desperate look to his wife, and with eyes filled up with tears says, “I’m sorry”. Deniz takes his hand to comfort him that she doesn’t think that was his fault but he is sorry for something else. She doesn’t know about it yet. He is disgusted by himself that he has betrayed his two most beloved people. As if his little girl is punished for his sin, and that smashes him.

He has firmly decided that there won’t be “a second time” but he wrongly thinks that the accident with Derin was the cost he had to pay. No, he must pay personally. Sema is right in her cynicism, “Yes, it was once but “once” is not “never”. You are right to have remorse, don’t pretend that nothing happened. That’s the reason a bit later the desperate Umut to say to Deniz, “It doesn’t matter if that was once or a hundred times.”

For Umut Blue Sema is a catalyst of the maturing process, his relationship with her makes him realize that it is not very manlike to satisfy every single wish of yours in the quickest and easiest possible way; that if he wants to stand himself, he must learn the lesson of self-denying, to start thinking of someone else but himself.

ForUmutPinkSemaisthepainfullitmusthathelpshimtostopfoolinghimselfthatheismaturealready. The easy way he slips into her trap is a merciless evident that he is still the same driveller who cries about his favourite toys, and expects someone to comfort him.

The beginning of the end

The sad song about the last letter appears for the first time as an unobtrusive background of the scene under the rain when Umut hears about Deniz’ pregnancy. This is the beginning of the end of their happy love. Yes, everything moves toward a wedding but The Big Goal has slipped away – Umut hasn’t grown up, and it is time someone to pay for that. Even during this crucial conversation he doesn’t think about anybody else but himself. He feels like a loser, like a saphead, he is full of bitterness, and pours out this bitterness upon her – “The baby is from me, at least, isn’t it?” This is an extremely loathsome question asked with the only purpose to hurt her.

I would like to point out the shattering performance of Engin in this scene. His look says everything – about the man depressed by his own failures, about the hurt egocentric with a heart filled up with bitterness. He pours out Umut’s venom over Deniz so powerfully that I felt like I wanted to cry with tears of insult because of her. I can’t believe that he is able to put so much rancor and bile into his voice!

Umut Pink needs pretty much time, almost nine months, to convince Deniz that he loves her, and wants her in his life forever, after that. This long period is very elegantly performed by the walk of Umut and Deniz through the seasons. This is not a new idea, of course. The most popular film it was used in, was “Notting Hill”, a romantic comedy back from 90s with starring Hugh Grant and Julia Roberts. But this idea fits perfectly to its place here, and makes the viewer to realize that Umut has had a hard time to convince Deniz that he had grown up. His “I don’t want (you to go)!” is very touching. He is not sure about himself, about what kind of a husband or father he would be, but he is a hundred percent sure about one thing – he wants Deniz in his life. This is a step in good direction, he gives up his self-sufficiency, his presumption that he is capable to manage everything, and focuses on the most important thing.

As a good director, Umut Atay directs the play “Wedding” perfectly. Everything is so romantic, so beautiful that no woman in love could resist. Deniz is moved, and predicts that one day he will be a great Italian film-director. The wedding scene reminds very much of the film classics of Italian South. It has the same melancholic sensual and slightly sad atmosphere. The bride and the groom look perfectly happy but the blurred colours, lights and sounds cast some imperceptible gloom. The viewers forebode already that the unhappy ending is at hand.

Family life

The parallel between the family lives of Umut Pink and Umut Blue is very interesting. The things with Mr. Pink slowly but surely go down. The wedding is the peak of their happiness and is followed by a destruction. Baby caring exhausts their romantic feelings, Deniz’ shoulders drop down, her haircut is untidy, her clothes – unattractive. Umut is permanently on edge, grumpy, in a hurry to somewhere. He kisses the baby when leaves the house but not his wife.

In the same time, Umut Blue also has his parallel “family” life. His relationship with Sema has started. And it is not for “just once” but for a long time, and it is completely cheerless. He never smiles in her presence. As if, making love with a woman he doesn’t love, he gives himself a punishment, a torment. As he puts it, he fools himself in order to be able to carry on. (Why does he remind me so much of unhappy Bulut?) He needs Sema togive up his illusions completely, to start longing for something real, to grow up, and to take responsibility for himself at last.

The other “family” of Umut Blue is more interesting. Hismother. She is probably the most important character along with the main characters. She represents the personalized pain. Umut Blue communicates with her regularly, and sees her body decline, after her mind has declined a long time ago. He accepts the fact that he is an imaginary admirer for her, and tears come to his eyes when she starts describing him as a little boy with so much love. He is despaired about the wall, the sick mind of his mother had built between him and her. He desperately needs her love and wisdom. His physical presence just tortures him.

In fact, the point of growing up, of maturity of Umut Blue is his farewell to his mother. At her death bed her mind comes back, she recognizes him, and gives him the wisest advice ever. Umut has the chance to reconcile with her, with his father, with his past, to close up this page of his life, and to start learning how to think of the others and not just of himself.

Umut Pink has no chance for that. His meetings with his mother are more seldom and more depressing. She is not flirting with him as with an imaginary admirer but most probably impersonalizes his father in him. Umut’s pain is so great that he has no strength to drive her back to the retirement home but leaves Deniz to do it. Because of his sin, because of the accident with his daughter (which is a consequence of this sin) the chance to say goodbye to his mother is taken away from him. For that reason her death is not a key point for him but just an additional pain over his overloaded heart.

The most terrible moment for Umut Blue is not the death of his mother (because in her last minutes she makes him happy) but the death of his dog. This is his Ground Zero. There is no more way down. The only possible direction is up. From this moment on blue starts fading and turn rosy. Umut Blue has got even with the past completely, no debts anymore. He starts on a white sheet of paper. Upwards.

Meanwhile, Umut Pink slides down non-recoverably. His family life “turns blue”, tense and resentment start piling up between him and Deniz. Their quarrel is the climax. The romantic reconciliation after that reminds us that Umut is a very gifted film-director but it can’t fool us that he has matured already. “And knowing all these, you willingly married me. What were you thinking about, Deniz?” Do you catch some remorse or taking of responsibility here? Yes, he realizes that his wife has been unhappy, and does his best to correct his mistakes but still is not ready to take his fault and bear it. (Kerim comes to my mind at this moment.) Deniz is much more matured than him – “I have to speak up directly, I should express all my feelings to you.” She takes her part of the duty, admits her mistake. Umut is incredibly charming with his whispered “Forgive me” but it’s not enough yet.

Umut Blue is a real man at this moment – he puts the end of all humiliation and compromises. He breaks up with the night bird, and sits to draw a script. And the night bird is just coming to Umut Pink’s life. He hasn’t reached his Ground Zero yet. He thinks he has but he hasn’t.

His Ground Zero is the breaking up with Deniz. He is absolutely sincere when says that he still loves only her. But also perfectly knows that he hasinflicted an enormous wound, and his love is not able to heal it. Umut Pink loses everything. Umut Blue mourns his dog, and Umut Pink mourns the ruins of his family.

I can’t but express my admiration of Engin and Berguzar’s performance in breaking up scene! I felt such pain, as if I was the betrayed one. The fading whisper of Engin at the end makes this pain almost unbearable.

While watching the “sunset” of Umut Pink, we see the “sunrise” of Umut Blue. His script is ready. He has managed to pour out his soul in it, and moreover he is given the chance to materialize it. He is almost happy. The dark heavy look can disappear from his eyes, the bottom-feeder can start looking around for happiness.

The maturity point of Umut Pink is the moment he says, “Please, don’tleave”. He has paid a very high cost, much pain to become aware of the essence of the things – he has put off the focus from himself, he has broken off the neck of his egocentrism, he has learned to think of the others. “I don’t dare to ask you to come back, neither to love me again. I don’t deserve it but please, do it because you are better than me. You made out a father of me when I didn’t want to be made. I discovered love with you.” Fatherhood is no more a trap for Umut; Deniz and Derin are not “chains” but life itself. And the way Umut looks at Deniz at this moment can make cry even the guillotine man of the French Revolution.

Umut Pink takes his responsibility at last, he admits his mistake, ”I did it wrong from the very beginning, I imagined something else. This is my illusions and manias from the past’s fault.” This is the most powerful scene of Bergüzar in the film, although she has almost no lines. Love, insult, desire, joy, skepticism, mercy fight one another in her eyes. Deniz wants to forgive but is afraid to do it, in the same time. The draw of little Derin is the visualization of her forgiveness –Ok, we are a family again. Yes, we have scars but we are one as we used to be.

Death

I don’t like that I have to say it but the scene of Deniz’ death is the only false note of this powerful narrative. It is too melodramatic, too expected as if the spring was overwound, and the dramatic effect was lost. I don’t want even to mention the farewell with the kite… On the other hand, the idea of the accident with a wedding car, and not with some delivery van, as it was in the original version, is very good. It is symbolic.

Deniz’ death is the last and highest cost for Umut Pink. After that he is already a completely mature man, a father dedicated to his daughter.

After Deniz’ death the scenes with Umut Blue lose their blue colour. He meets her at last, and the love story could begin. This time he enters it without ghosts from the past, without skeletons in the closet, without piled up hatred that he must pour out over somebody. This time love has every chance. And for that reason, the accident is prevented.

The actual end of the film is the scene on the balcony – the cycle is closed, the destiny has dealt out the cards, and the heroes have played them. Umut Blue starts a new life. So does Umut Pink – with his daughter.

Instead of a summary

If we would square accounts, who of two Umuts is happier? Who pays more? Math says that at the beginning Umut Pink’s story starts better, and it must be “the happy one” by default but at the end he is the one who has lost more – his dear collection, the farewell with his mother, and Deniz. Mr. Blue has lost all his paintings and his dog. Yes, Mr. Pink wins Derin. But for Mr. Blue Derin is yet at hand. And when he meets Deniz, she has a dog. This dog immediately settles on the sofa. Oscar is back. The cycle is closed.

As if, by this brilliantly told story Ali Bilgin wants to tell us, “If you want to live through less possible sufferings, you must mature before you start making relationships. Otherwise, you transfer your immaturity in them, and you inflict wounds – not only to yourself but also to the people you love“.

The actors

I can’t contain my loud applause to Engin and Bergüzar. They create the perfect couple on the screen! They are so concordant, so harmonious in emotions, play, talent, moods that I am short of superlatives. They are a vortex on the screen, they produce small explosions every minute.

Ipek Bilgin seized me with her performance. I saw a few pictures of her in life, and she has nothing to do with an old woman with dementia. The rest of the actors were also very natural, and fit their places, I didn’t catch even a single false note.

There is one special thing I would like to mark… we saw Engin in a towel for the first time. Yes, we have seen Kerim in a gown but it is not the same. Anyone indifferent to this scene? 😊

In the credits after the end of the film I read that Engin has a stand-in man. I tried to guess in which scenes but I couldn’t. It can’t be in some dangerous scenes because there are no dangerous scenes at all. And he shot the dangerous scenes by himself in “Children Are Entrusted To You”. Maybe in the scenes where he is somewhere in the background? I will watch the film once again, and try to guess.

“One Love – Two Lives” is a film that I would recommend to anybody – to romance lovers, to profound cinema lovers, to artistic aesthetic shooting lovers, to all cinema-maniacs. It presents a very precious combination of easiness, tenderness and profundity. I’m saying this from the bottom of my heart, “Mr. Parakalyatis, your idea was great and your film was not bad. But your life-time deal was selling the copyrights. “Your” character was raised so high that even you cannot reach him anymore! But you will have my gratitude forever for giving Engin a chance to be radiant with a new light.”